Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
