she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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