oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
