after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
