felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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