College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
