remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize