There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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