Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Boobs are out for the taking
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
