Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
