May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
