My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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