just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
