just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize