S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
