my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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