they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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