does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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