My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Drake has all the answers
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
