you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
