He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
