I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
