I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
