One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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