I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
