rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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