So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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