problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
