"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
