Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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