Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
