Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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