Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
