I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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