He disabled his match.com account in front of me
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
