i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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