it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize