have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize