Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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