So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
