K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
