You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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