did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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