Midget sex pt 2 tonight
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
