Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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