I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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