Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
