Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
