Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
