So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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