He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
