Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
So apparently I’m into choking now
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