I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The adults are the big ones right?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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