woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
