Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
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