he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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