So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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