Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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