if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
